“You’re beautiful, remember that.”
That’s all he seems to say
Beauty, a social dogma defined by fantasies
Can’t I just believe it to be true? No! Why?
Well, the mind works in a way to not go back to things that hurt you
And this is just to close to comfort.
Why even consider going back?
That pleasure is like a drug to that travels through the dry veins within me
But it stings; it burns
It consumes me from the inside until all I have left is reason,
And reason tells me to run away.
Run away it says
Far into the waves that crash on the shore of my memory
That pain is just absorbed over and over again
The water dries on the sand, leaving a hard cover to all the layers of weak that follow
So that’s what beautiful?
Living behind a wall?
One with a code you think no one can hack
He comes close too, but “trial and error” just makes you change the combination
You don’t want to be left with nothing, again
You don’t want another wave to drown in
So you swim against it before it drives you and punches you to shore, to reason, to reality.
You fight against the felling until you’re free of the tugging
You know it’s just another sorrow, so you swim away.