Thoughts Before Midnight

I can honestly say that today has been a day of realization. I learned that people who you think can be trusted are just economically driven pricks who have no problem in holding you captive along with 14 horses. I also learned that a friend will always be a friend, no matter what happens. Cliche, I know, but it’s one of the few that actually has no mocking merit (this coming from a mind who can mock almost anything)

Most importantly, today I realized that I’m much stronger now than before, and I’m not just saying this because I manually plowed an arena today. Ironically, I’m much stronger now, when my love life is non-existent, when my safe heaven has pretty much disintegrated and when my future is on the brink of punching me in the face.

Maybe it’s because I’m graduating in a year, taking my SAT next week or exploring colleges this summer that my mind took sharp 180 turn from being one who avoided everything, to being one that accepts reality. Don’t worry, my fantastical imagination is still in the same dark corner thats it’s always been in, it’s just I can’t keep kidding myself that the scenarios is my head are just gonna randomly come to life. I have to make things happen. How exactly do I do that? Well, I have no fucking idea! I guess I’ll just have to wobble between y stilettos and tall boots until I find out.

I’m growing up. Shit.

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