Carnage

It was the intoxication for you that made me realize that I’ve been getting drunk of the wrong things for way to long

I’ve been sober before your lips, before your hands on my hips

You made me rethink the concept of being in a state sobriety

Because I would always see my self staring at the end of a bottle for a daring push into the world of extraordinary cliches to feel a sense of normalcy, different than awkward social convention I shoved myself into 

But then I found myself drinking you, and felt at ease, felt at peace

Because liquor isn’t supposed to transform you

It’s supposed to bring out your truest shade out form the shadows

Shadows that were born out of the constricted norms embedded into my mind before I could even think about playing with my barbie dolls

And then I drank a tangy mixture of cheap vodka, expensive self-derailemt and an aftertaste of a misplaced childhood.

And for the first time in my predetermined existence

For the first time in my etiquette driven, formulaic personality

For the first time my mask fell of my face

Tumbled down on to the floor

And fell between your fingertips

For the first time I wasn’t afraid of pain

I found comfort in the scars you left on my neck

Open wounds that got infected with delusions and ill-adviced caresses

Because with every stroke they became deeper

And now here I stand

That result of your carnage

Battered black and blue but holding on to your control over me

Waiting

Waiting for you to bite deeper into me until I’m lost in my own oblivion

Only to find myself in your arms

Wanting to feel weak again

Craving the hangover 

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Vampires

We all have vampires in our lives. Just to clarify, when I mean vampire, I’m not referring to the fangy blood sucking type, I’m referring to those of the literary aspect.

Vampires in literature are those characters that suck life, innocence, love, joy; anything remotely “happy” out of you (How to Read Literature Like a Professor). I can say that we all have that one person who in our lives is a vampire. Even though our vampires don’t only come out at night, don’t sleep in coffins or aren’t undead, they’re still pretty scary, because unfortunately they are real and they don’t really tend to leave our lives. No matter how hard we try they always seem to come back to haunt us.

A vampire in our modern world could be the first guy that broke your heart. He was the best friend that turned out to be a jerk and, thanks to family or social connections, always seems to pop up in conversation. They can’t seem to leave that remote corner of the mind, it’s like that person build a nest there. Well, not a nest, but more of a life sucking lab from the inside out that turns your every thought into a horrible nightmareish memory of that last chapter in your life. Horrible isn’t it? How an actual human being can be scarier than a mythical vampire.

Another classic vampire, the teacher or boss you have to prove yourself too. That’s the one person who can bring you down with just one stare. You raise your hand in class, or try to say something in a meeting and you are tagged as an idiot with a smart remark. These are the people who suck your pride, and leave you unmotivated to do anything else in your life. Why? Well, because you start thinking that you’re not good enough to do ANYTHING in your life. Funny isn’t it? How an actual human being can make you feel dead, while a mythical vampire only gives you the short fear of it.

In todays world, there is not much room to believe in ghouls and ghosts and monsters and vampires, with science an all that. But, we have to realize that those ghouls, ghosts, monsters and vampires are just humans among us that scare us half to death, or unmotivated us, or just simply suck happiness out of out lives drop by drop. We can’t literally drive a stake through their heart, that would just get us in jail, but what we can do is (metaphorically, just making it clear, don’t want anyone actually doing this) wear a garlic necklace to drive those horrible vampires away.

Foster, Thomas C. “NIce to Eat You: Acts of Vampires.” How to Read Literature Like a Profesor. New York, NY: Harper Collins, 2003. 15-21. Print.

P.S. HIGHLY recommend this book to anyone interested in studying literature or becoming a writer!