El diablo cajuelo que me atormenta

“Porque nadie se tiene que dar cuenta”, 

He said with that wicked smile,

That got me every time, 

And melted me away,

Como burbujas en una pecera,

Que desaparecen mientras te ahogas. 

And he keeps me down, 

Doesn’t let me slip away,

Making me believe that I was safe between el merengue, 

Y el suspiro,

Not realising that I didn’t matter.

Never did.

Not to him.

My carnaval un 27, 

Became el diablo cajuelo que me atormenta,

Cause you pull me in with your color,

And power,

But scare me with it just the same. 

Y si te veo en La Vega corro,

Cause I can’t take another blow. 

So I loose myself in the rum,

Y escucho una bachata en tu honor, 

Cause your memory I can’t let go of.

From childhood comparsas,

To movies en el malecón.

From stolen kisses that felt right, 

To intentions that felt wrong. 

And those secret glances en La Romana 

That let me forget I was raised in la Pedro Enrrique, 

And reminded me that I’m more that who I seem to be,

But made me forget that who I was, and hope to sill be is strong

All on my own. 

 

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Revolution of the Hopeless Romantics

As I take a stroll down memory lane 

I run into the corner of nostalgia and broken hearts 

And run into the ghost of the past 

That leads me down three sharp turns 

And I end up un the end of Bull Shit Ave.

Right where it meets with Honesty Hour Street 

I’m faced with a huge cement bunker 

At the top in huge letters it says

“Institute of higher love”

I walk right up to it high and mighty 

With my heart on my sleeve 

And my dignity hanging by a thread 

Holding on to my independence

Can’t loose it in the mind games 

Can’t loose myself in the secret glances 

Or in the hand holding 

Or in the full words with empty meanings 

I can’t loose myself 

Cause I’m burning this place down 

From the inside 

And watching the false hope and promises of all the aching hearts 

Burn up in the smoke of the revolution  

Hideaway

And all I need right now is my hideaway
So I can run away from you
And fly away with him
And the memory of the kiss that never touched my lips
Or the vibration of the strum that gave me goose bumps.

And the guilt of looking into those eyes
And feeling something real for the first time in a long time
Knowing those eyes felt the same
As they begged me to be the queen of his world for only one night
But knowing all the same that there is no such thing as freedom of desire.

All I need right now is my hideaway
Because reality without the sea rocking under the hammock
That shook with every glance
And rocked with every sigh
Is as painful as holding back the tears form saying goodbye.

I miss the cold and the warmth
I miss the wind that made me fall for you
And your grip that kept me steady.

The way you got ahead, stopped, waited and kept going.
The tears swell up again as I remember how you called me munchkin,
Didn’t annoy me when you made me feel small
Cause in the end I was and I am the bigger person.
Because I was the one who waited in the cold
And dreamt about your lips and voice
And you were the one who didn’t show.

But then his shoulder catches my tears
As I stutter to tell the story of a hidden craving
And he holds my hand
Whispering a promise that I know he can’t keep

Cause it’ll fly by just as fast as the seven days
Those seven days that I will always go back to when I feel lonely,
Because I will always go back to shnarfing and loving.
I will always revisit our last glance on the staircase,
And that night that turned into the darkest moment
Before the dawn that would end it all.

And so I go to my hideaway just one last time and see you there,
With him
And the blurred voices that surround us
But I can’t seem to listen.
I’m to wrapped up in what could have been and never will be.
I’m to wrapped up in counting the hours until tomorrow
Can it not be tomorrow?

It’s 3AM and I don’t want to say goodbye,
But the quiet whispers so loudly that it’s time to go.
I embrace the quivers, and shivers and the heavy rotation
I walk away
Still holding his hand because neither of us wants to let go.
Can’t my hideaway just become home?

One Way Ticket

This is an assignment I worked on that I ended up loving. It’s a remix of one of the great Langton Hughes poem ‘One Way Ticket’

I pick up my life,

And take it with me,

And put it in a jar of

Insecurities, Innocence

Hopeless romance,

Next to ingenuity

And no confidence

I pick up my life

And take it on a journey

To the corner of 39th and 9th

To the booth where your lips touched mine.

A place that distance is nothing

I am fed up with the laws of logic

People who think

Yet do not ponder

Who are scared of walking backwards

And leave the romantics out to dry

I pick up my dignity

And take it away

On a one-way-ticket

Gone up into the stars

Gone out into nothingness

Gone, just gone