Happy Hoelloween

Aside

So it’s hallows eve and I’m still not sure if I have a costume or not. It annoys me that I actually have to make a costume because all the ones I find are sexy versions of animated kids characters. I mean seriously, who’s weird fetish imagined a sexy Elmo?

What amazes me even more is that women have turned halloween into all time hoe fest. Honestly, if you’re a closeted wanna be prostitute go right ahead and do it all year round and don’t put up this act of false innocence or self respect that you obviously do not posses. There is absolutely no need to walk around in a corset IN PUBLIC and act like it’s perfectly fine because you’re supposed to be Snow White. I had no idea Snow White wore fishnets in the movie, I guess they might have been hidden under her skirt that actually covered her ass… 

If you wanna wear a corset and fishnets, be my guest, but please do it behind closed doors and stop ruining my favorite childhood movies. Seriously, childhood movies are pretty much the only happy thoughts I have anymore and I don’t need them to go into the dark side. If your man has a weird thing for a naughty Buzz Lighter, well I suggest two things, question his sexuality and also, please that strange craving in your four walls; I don’t want one of ma favorite Pixar characters to be soiled forever in my memory because he was made into a trashy piece of latex.

Isn’t halloween about goofing off? About getting drunk of a sugar rush? About exploring that lost childhood we thought was lost forever? Or is that just me? Because the usual thing I see when I look around on October 31st are breasts pushed up to women’s noses and men tying to push down their boners. That’s far from innocent in my perspective. And yes, this coming from a woman who defends casual laying about and has a mind that finds double meanings in everything. What can I say, halloween is the time of year that reminds me I’m not as far gone as I think.

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Reality Check

There is one reason I truly hate TV and cinema: their romance stories.

It aggravates me how those talented writers from hell come up with the most perfect story lines and scripts, and leave girls like me with preconceived ideas about a type of love that can only be found in fiction. The reality of it is, romance in dead and so are those extravagant acts of love that came along with it. Now a days, if a guy decided to order take out after sex is a romantic act that’s supposed to woo us away; and the idea of a guy chasing down a plane with a motorcycle and asking the love of his life to marry him is so far fetched that only a teen drama writer could think it up (I actually feel pathetic wishing it would happen to me).

The reality of everything is, that if you fall in love everything will blow to pieces. If you’re not in the relationship with the person, you’ll always be waiting for it to be like the movies. That big realization that your supposed to be together, which usually happens when one or the other is about to leave town, or marry someone, or die. Then, miraculously the other person makes it in time and no one leaves town, they marry each other, and no one dies. If you are together, then the girl will always be waiting for those big affectionate details that we all read about; she will be highly disappointed to realize that those big affectionate details will never happen because well, all great romances are written by women, and men have no sense of what actual wooing is.

I hate it when my mind goes all pessimistic on love – I love love – It’s just that I’m tired of thinking that it’s like the movies and books and shows I see. Even if two people are perfect for each other, that doesn’t mean it’s going to happen (and no amount of chocolate or alcohol can fix that, trust me). Even if things seem like their “meant to be” and everything feels perfect, doesn’t mean that it’s going to happen. And even if you can actually imagine being with the person, it doesn’t mean it’s going to happen.

Sometimes I wish I could write my own love stories and watch them come true before my eyes, words aren’t that powerful I guess.