Death of 2014

You know how they say life flashes before your eyes right before death? Well today my life in school flashed before by eyes when I walked in as a senior. I really do hope that this does not mean that senior year will be the death of me.

Maybe, it’s the death of my life as just a child, now I’m stepping up to being a child with just a bit more on her plate. Maybe it’s the death of my indecision, considering I have to have a decision on pretty much my life in about a month. Or maybe, it’s just the death of me because I’m pretty much going to drown in all the work I’m going to have.

Or maybe I should just murder all my horrible thoughts right here and look at my next year in a positive manner!

Yeah well, maybe not.

Fear makes me think of the worse, so when the worse doesn’t happen, I’m happy with what I get. Just a little fun fact about me and my self-content trick.

All I know is, I’m a senior today, in three months I’m 18, in 4 my applications will be sent, in about 5 or 6 I’ll know where I’m going to college and after that well

Welcome to the resurrection

I’ll be just fine

So summer is pretty much over, and that’s a bust. And yes, yes I know I haven’t posted a single thing all summer, I’ve been busy that’s all.

With what exactly you might wonder?

Well, actually having a life for once without having my every move I make be handled with the greatest care by my loving mother.

I actually got to date someone! I hadn’t been on a date since my breakup last summer, and it reminded me why I don’t date in the first place.

It also confirmed that there are some men out there who don’t only want to get physical, or just won’t at all; who would actually want them is beyond me, but that’s just my opinion. Don’t get me wrong, the guy was sweet and cared for me, but I think by the end of our not so steamy month together, I almost went into a diabetic coma.

What can I say, I don’t do sweet cliches and I do think the physical component is somewhat important. Ok, maybe very important.

Look at me I’m even sounding like a guy now.

The highlight of my summer though, I would have to say was actually two things. One, writing my ass of in class (yes I took classes in the summer, judge me) and realizing that, when I graduate, I’m gonna be just fine shipping myself to college. I might even be happier than what I am now.

To be honest I miss my tiny dorm room – even though it was the size of my bathroom – and all the conversation that went on in it. They went from mindless babber to actual moral decisions.

You see, a friend of mine broke up with his girlfriend because he fell for one of the girls at my dorm. She put up a fight, and we she finally gave in, when he finally got her, he cheated. I honestly think I’ve never had such a deep discussion with a guy in my bed and not have it turn into something else.

Another conversation happened one night at about two am. It was with one of the girls in my suite. She was heartbroken because her boyfriend had just decided to breakup with her, and the only person she knew she could talk to was me. I was touched at the thought that this girl I’ve known for only two weeks could trust me with such personal issues.

I became close to people – really close – for the first time in a long time. I guess living with the same crowd for a month does that.

That experience I truly believe can only happen in dorms and college, when we are all flung into each other and pretty much need to build those relationships ASAP.

I got to meet people along with their ideas and complex views on such simple things, that helped me open my own opinions towards things I never really thought about.

I got to meet the city of Boston, and probably where I’ll be living right after high school, which is coming to an end on June 7, 2014.

A Summer to Remember

Like any teenage girl on her last official summer break -I’m a senior in August – I want this summer to be one that stays in the back of my mind and actually do something with it. I’m leaving for Boston in a few days to give my self “a taste of the college experience and find out what it’s like to be on my own”. As psyched as I am about independence, I want to do so much more. That’s why I’m sending letters to random strangers.

This is a community of writers, and I’m sure every writer here wants their words to actually mean something to someone other than themselves. That’s why I suggest everyone to go to moreloveletters.com

Here, you’ll find requests to from people to write letters to friends and family who need caring words to brighten their spirits and lift their day.

Well, thats enough promo for one post. I do recommend it though.

I can honestly say that finding this site has really given me something to think about and something to do. This is the summer all upcoming seniors are supposed to think about what they want to do with their lives, where they want to apply to go to college, who they want to be. I’ve been in the dilema of sticking to my horses or my pen for many years now, as as much as I love my horses, competing is not going to change the lives of others or do any good to the world.

I’m a writer, expressing my self and putting ideas and opinions out there is what I do. Might as well specialize in it to see if I can make a living of my big mouth and unfiltered pen.